What happened on May 25th, 2009

I have been working on all year long on this post.  This post is for Mack; so he will know the story of the day he was born.  I literally started typing it on May 25^th, 2009 at the Hospital.  Now on the eve of his birth I am finishing it.  It has been a “labor of love” journaling that special moment and day that I held my Mack for the first time. 

The day Mack came to our family.  It all started on May 23^rd, 2009.  That day just happened to be the day that my Grandma Nielson thought I would have him.  It also was the day that her husband, my Grandpa, Douglas Wayne Nielson passed away.  He was on my mind and in my heart that day.  I remember looking at my belly and thinking about my baby that I was going to name after him.  I thought about my grandpa up in heaven holding my lil guy and preparing him for the adventure of coming to earth.  While I was daydreaming Adam came into the room with an idea of getting out of the house and going to Park City.  He thought it would be good to get out and do something other than anxiously walking around the house all day.  We both were to the point that we thought that I might be permanently pregnant.  We loaded up in the truck and in less than an hour we were in Park City deciding on where to have lunch.  As we pulled into a parking lot we saw a bunch of people gathered around a dog pin. I insisted that Adam stop and that we go and see what the big fuss was all about. As soon as I approached the pin I was in love with the little dog. He was the best of the bunch and he preferred me also. It was love at first sight. He was a golden receiver and had the lightest coat of hair, roundest loveable face out of the liter. Adam instantly pulled us a part and said lets go eat lunch and talk about it. At lunch all I could do was think about how we needed to bring that dog home. Adam was the rational one that kept reminding me that the baby would be coming soon and a new dog and a new baby would be a huge adjustment to take on at once. After lunch we immediately got out of the dog area.  The temptation of getting a puppy was just to strong to take and it was risky if we were to hang out there any longer.  We then went to the outlets and bought ourselves each a new fossil watch. Little did I know that our watches would help time the contractions to come.   After shopping we came home and I was exhausted.  I curled up in bed and took a 3-hour nap.  I woke up refreshed and had a sudden urge to use the bathroom.  I rolled out of bed and went only and went to then to find myself in shock to think that stood up to soon and that I still was going.  Well that kept happening, but I was in denial and figured I just was loosing my control. Reality was that I had a tear in my amniotic fluid and my water was slowly leaking. I continued on with my night and Adam and I went to get gas in the Mini just in case we needed to rush off to the hospital. On the way to get gas we pushed the limit and ran out of gas. Adam was left pushing the car down Alpine Highway for 1/4 of a mile while I steered the car and cheered him on.  That was the second time we had ran out of gas in the Mini.  I laughed about it and Adam was a bit disgusted to think he passed a gas station moments before we ran out.  Then we went and got pizza and spent the night hanging out watching TV together. The entire time my fluid was leaking but I was still in denial just thinking that life was going to stay the same and pregnancy was just going to settle in for the long haul. The next morning I popped out of bed and we went to church. I just ignored the fluid and kept thinking that it was no big deal. After church we decided to bake a Jell-O cake to pass the time. Our neighbors (Jason and Kristin Pendleton) called and invited us over for dinner. As we were eating I explained to Kristin about the leaking and figured she would tell me that it was no big deal. Well she did just the opposite and made me panic a bit. I called into my doctor’s office and the on call doctor called me back. Her named was Andrea Herbert. I explained to her what was going on and she said it sounded like my water broke and I needed to get to the hospital to make sure. I asked her if I could wait till tomorrow when my doctor was on call and she laughed and said not to worry that she was just as nice and to get to the hospital. We left the Pendleton's and headed home to pack up. I called my mom and dad and they were at the barn planting flowers. I told them no rush cause I still was not sure I wanted to go to the hospital. I delayed the packing and getting ready for as long as I could. I almost decided to go to another BBQ and the Linford house before the hospital.  It was just a bit scary to think what was going to happen. With that fear I knew I needed a blessing to calm me down. Adam and Jason gave me a blessing and at that point I knew I needed to get to the hospital and that everything was going to be ok. We loaded up the car and stopped by red box to rent some movies just in case it was going to be a long night and we needed something to pass the time. I called my Grandma Nielson and she was on her way if I needed her. Once we got the hospital the nurse checked and water did break and there was no option of going home. This was at 5:00 p.m. and I was checked in and put on patosion to start the contractions. I laid in bed waiting for the pain to start. The nurse kept coming in and upping the dosage and I nothing was changing for me. I was still in no pain. My mom and dad made it around 7:00 p.m. and my dad took one look at me and said that he did not think I was in labor. I was happy, talkative, and in no pain. I did have to go the bathroom a lot and it seemed like every 20 minutes I was unhooking myself to get to the bathroom. We all just hung out and watched the movie "The Burbs" while the nurse kept coming in and increasing the medication. Finally at 10:30 p.m. the nurse came in and said that her shift ended at 11:00 p.m. and that she recommended I get the epidural and get some rest for the night. I decided that seemed like a good idea cause it seemed like nothing was happening and I still had yet to feel what I thought was a contraction. As I was waiting for the anesthesiologist I began to feel more pain and I needed to use the bathroom. The nurse gave me some pain medication as I waited for the anesthesiologist. Then the urge to go the bathroom increased and I was in a bit of a panic cause it felt like I was going to go the bathroom in the bed. I kept telling the nurses and my family that I needed to get up and go the bathroom and not just to pee. The anesthesiologist came and gave me the shot as I took breaks in between each step to fight off the bathroom urge. Finally he was done and he was packing up his tools as I told the nurse that I need to still go and I was just going to go and not fight it any longer. That is when she said let me check you and lifted up the sheet and gasp. I was at a 10 dilated and ready to push. It was the baby coming and not the other. The doctor had just left so they stopped the medicine and told me to just lie there and relax. The epidural stopped the contractions and slowed my labor down and I just laid in bed wiggling my toes and taking in what it felt like to have half of my body numb. After about 3 hours of just waiting around the nurse came in and said it's time to push and get this baby here. I thought for sure I could just pop him out after already being at a 10 but that was not the case. I was at a 10 but need to phase to a level of getting him out and with the epidural and no patosion I had a long way to go.   After 2 1/2 hours my mom came in and helped cheer me on for the last bit. It was difficult cause I could not feel contractions and my body was so numb I did not know exactly how to push. It was so weird to not have total control and feeling down below. I was exhausted and tired I just wanted to take a break and relax when all the sudden I puked up. That is when I thought the night was never going to end.  Then after 3 and 1/2 hours of hard pushing he finally made it out.  I will never forget incredible it felt when he actually came out and I the labor was over.  The doctor immediately gave him to me and I held him in my arms.  I remember holding him and instantly feeling the connection we have.  Although it was my first actual time holding him I felt like he has always been in my arms.  I recognized instantly his mannerism.  One of the first things I noticed was his big toe.  It looked just like Adam’s.  Also everyone in the room commented on his bright red hair.  My mom was so happy to see he had the color of hair that she predicted.  Shortly after I got to hold him the nurses and doctors took him and checked all his vitals.  Adam was amazing at staying by his side and protecting him as they checked him all out.  Once they made sure he was good, Adam held him, then my mom, then my dad and then he came back to my arms.  Although I was going on no sleep I felt energized and alive.  We were moved into a room that we called our own for the next three days and two nights.  My parents went and I got my Grandma Nielson and brought her to the hospital to see Mack.  It was love at first sight for her.  She thought he had the most gorgeous skin.  She thought he looked like a porcelain doll.  Later that afternoon when it was just the three of us Adam and I just bragged to each other about what a darling, handsome, precious, cute, our baby boy was.  This talk went on all night long as we stared at him and bragged to each other about how perfect he is.  I remember feeling so much joy and happiness.  It truly is one of the greatest day, accomplishment, and experience of my life.

Now one year later I reflect on how much our lives have changed and how life has only gotten better.  I am so glad that Mack chose to come to our family in heaven.  I am proud to be his mother and so grateful that I have him.  I look forward to many, many, many more birthdays for Mack to come.  May 25 is more than just some day; it a CELEBRATION!  I LOVE YOU MACK!